Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Courtesy of the Bovina Bloviator, ol’ Robbo became aware of this neat-o on-line thingy: the Pope Name Predictor.  As its moniker suggests, it is a little contest to guess the name taken by the next Pope, whose identity, with any luck, we may find out as early as in the next day or two.  I couldn’t resist playing myself.

My prediction?  Well, it was really more of a hope than a guess, although not completely outside the bounds of plausibility.  In fact, I plonked for the name Pope Martellus I.

And why?

Friends of the decanter will know that ol’ Robbo believes it is critical at this time that the Conclave of Cardinals (of course guided by the Holy Ghost) select a new pontiff who carries within him the spirit of Charles Martel (that is, in English, “The Hammer”), a fellah with his back to the wall who nonetheless summoned the courage and strength to beat the holy bejaysus out of Christianity’s enemies, thus turning the tide.  What we need is a Champion of Orthodoxy who will smite not only the external enemies of HMC (here I’m thinking not only of rival religions around the world but more specifically of the secularist hedonism that has poisoned the West), but the internal ones as well.

In short, in these dark times we need a strong leader.

“But Tom,” you say, “Isn’t a reference to an 8th Century Frank kinda, you know, obscure?”

To which I would reply, “No, not if you had paid attention in your Medieval History class like you were supposed to.  Besides, the interconnectedness of the Present with the Past is a feature in my world view, not a bug.”

Besides, I want at least a plausible shot at winning the iThingy the meme is promising to whoever choses wisely, and “Chucknorristus I” and “Jackbaurius I” just didn’t seem like plausible options to me.