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Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

A delightfully sunny, cool, and dry morning at Port Swiller Manor after the remains of Ida blew through yesterday. The storm seems almost a period, a marker separating the worst of summah from the first faint hints of oncoming autumn.

Or so I hope, anyway.

Perhaps it’s the change in the weather or perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve been fighting some low-grade stomach bug the past couple days but I had another of my patented bizarro dreams last night.

In it, I was standing on the Port Swiller Manor back porch with my brother and sister. This in itself was unusual in that I very rarely dream about real people and certainly don’t remember another with them.

At any rate, as we stood there, two labradoodles were frolicking in the yard. I don’t know why labradoodles: I’ve always considered them to be an abomination of cross-breeding. But the next thing I knew, they weren’t labradoodles but llamas.

Before I could make up my mind about this, there was a great crashing sound, and my brother was pointing wide-eyed. Looking up, I saw a huge grizzly bear lumbering into the yard. (Pretty sure it was not Mr. Bultitude.) It immediately started chasing teh llamas, which quickly scattered and ran off.

At this point, brother, sister, and I turned and beat a hasty retreat into the house, hoping the grizzly wouldn’t come up to the door, which was only a screen.

After a moment, I peeked out to see what was happening. The grizzly was gone. Instead, there was a 50-foot tall Jennifer Anniston. There was also a large McMansion being built next door. The giantess, who seemed very agitated, started pulling pieces off of it and hurling them about. The last I recall, we wanted to watch this, but we also were afraid to make eye contact, lest she come over and start tearing up our house instead.

And then, as they say, I woke up.

I worry me sometimes.


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September 2021