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“Wait, it isn’t? Well I wish you guys would make up your minds!”

Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Ol’ Robbo never gets tired of this pun. (And I hope those of you who get it will enjoy it, too. It took me the dickens of a time this year to dig up this pic. As for those of you who don’t get it, please clap anyway.)

Anyhoo, humorous merits or lack thereof aside, I always drag this particular chestnut out on “Earth Day” in gentle mockery. Said day, it seems to Ol’ Robbo, has nothing to do with responsible stewardship of the environment but, like most fashionable modern causes, is a mere front for the consolidation of raw politickal power. Think Ol’ Robbo is wearing his tinfoil hat? Perhaps. But be sure to note how many “Climate Emergency” pieces run today, most of them demanding the unquestioning surrender of individual liberties into the hands of Our Betters in order to appease Mama Nature.

As they say, like a watermelon: Green on the outside, red on the inside.

(I also like to point out to those who haven’t tuned me out already that today is Lenin’s birthday, which I don’t believe is a mere coincidence.)

UPDATE: Ol’ Robbo meant to mention that he happened to watch the movie tied to this pun just the other evening and it’s just as fresh and funny (and, really, subversive in the good way) as ever. It’s also one of those films that I’m “thiiiiiis” close to going ahead and buying for my permanent DVD collection.


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April 2021