Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Ol’ Robbo laughed and laughed over this article today:  Divers pull more than 50 e-scooters from Willamette River:

More than 50 e-scooters and a few bikes were pulled from the Willamette River in downtown Portland Tuesday and Wednesday by a county sheriff’s office dive team. The divers noticed the scooters in the river last month.

Lime, Bird and Razor e-scooters were piled up in a boat Tuesday while a dive team searched along the downtown sea wall for more. Sgt. Brandon White from the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office said he wasn’t sure who put the scooters in the river or why they were put there.

Sergeant? Let me put you some knowledge.  Those scooters were in the drink because hooligans  thought it would be a good idea, and because they could!  (Because Duuuude!)

Rental versions of these damned things are all over Your Nation’s Capital, with particular concentrations of them on the National Mall.  They can go far faster than they really need to, and on his lunchtime walks Ol’ Robbo has had every kind of encounter with hot-dogging kids and middle-aged newbies trying to look cool.

But that’s a personal rant aside.  (I never thought I’d see the day when I encountered something worse that the segue tours, but yeah, these things are.)

I have also see the things abandoned all over the place and have wondered often how on earth their proprietors can keep track of their stock and also what would prevent some wag from chucking one into the Potomac simply for the divilment of it.  (It needn’t even be the last person who rented it.  The things aren’t secured at all, so anybody could simply pick one up and consign it to the depths.)

I guess the answer is that said proprietors can’t.