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‘Allo! My Name is Robbo the Port Swiller. You put impurities in my glass. Prepare to die!

Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Ol’ Robbo was idly messing about on Bing this evening, wondering whether he had it in him to put up a new post, what with all this heat and humidity, when he stumbled across a site promoting Port Cocktails. That certainly perked him up!

My God in Heaven, what is wrong with people?  Why can’t you leave well enough alone? Wine -fortified or otherwise – should never, ever be mixed with anything else.  (And don’t gimme the sangria argument, because it’s vile.)  Same with beer.  Same with that noblest of all the hard stuff, single-malt scotch.

That leaves you with plenty of room – Pimms, gin, vodka, bourbon, various other liquors.  Hell, I’ve even sampled fruit-infused moonshine.  (Smooth as silk, by the bye, but you wake up naked in Singapore three days later.  It’s a long story.)

Anyhoo, go play with them and leave off trying to debauch the Pure.

(And no, calling a Port mixture abomination Trafalgar Punch is not going to get around Ol’ Robbo by appealing to his historickal nerdiness.)

Harumph! Harumph! Harumph!

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