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(Betcha didn’t know Ol’ Robbo even knew this song, now did you.)

Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

In response to the post below, regular friend of the decanter Tubbs asks: “I take it that you have no time for the Delmarva beach haunts?”

This is correct.   Ol’ Robbo has never been to Ocean City or Rehoboth or Bethany, nor to any of the various beaches along the Jersey shore, and he has no desire to do so, either.  You may call me unreasonably biased and cynical, but I sense both overcrowding and massive expense even from afar.

Ditto Virginia Beach, for that matter.  We have very dear friends there who we often visit, but it’s usually during the off-season.  I think I’ve been to the actual beach there once, and felt distinctly “meh” about it.

The Outer Banks I simply loathe.  Even if you can find one of the more remote houses, with a single access road for the whole damn place you’re at the mercy of the traffic at all times.

During my misspent yoot in Texas, I visited South Padre and Port Aransas a few times but don’t remember much.  And my first real driving adventure was a long day trip down to North Padre with my high school girlfriend.  (I don’t recall much of the beach itself, as I was otherwise occupied at the time.)

Where else? Well, Hilton Head, which is simply not all that attractive.  In Florida I’ve seen the sands at Vero Beach and Jupiter.

Turning farther north, I’ve been on beaches on both the Sound side and the ocean side of Lawn Guyland, and once spent a mosquito-plagued evening at Good Harbor Beach on Cape Ann, Mass.

But apart from Bermuda, which is in a class by itself, to me the perfect stretch of sand is Popham Beach up to Maine. Sure, it’s miles from nowhere, the water’s only about 50 degrees even at the height of summah and fogs can roll in without warning, but it’s very pretty and relatively uncrowded, and the people who do turn up tend to behave very nicely.  I only hope I can get back there some time in the not-so-distant future.

(And lest you think Ol’ Robbo is just being a Yankee snob about this, I may say that I wouldn’t go to Old Orchard Beach if you paid me.)

Alas, no beach trips in store for me this summah.  Our family hols will consist of a visit to the In-laws.  True, they live on the water in Connecticut and there is what could nominally be termed a beach in front of their house, but I find it isn’t worth the bother and that it’s far more comfortable simply to gaze out at the Sound from the comfort of their house.

 

 

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