Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Now that the hot weather has arrived and people are out and about more, it appears that the latest hipster-doofus transportation craze ’round here is those two-wheeled stand-up scooters with the tiny handlebars.  There’s a company that has littered the streets of Your Nation’s Capital with them, and apparently you just grab one, pay a fee over your favorite personal device, and go, leaving it wherever you like when you’re done.  (How on earth said company keeps track of them, I’ve no idea.)

These things are proving to be more of a menace than the bikes or even the flocks of tour-segues.  They’re both very fast and very nimble, thus encouraging hot-dogging, and I’ve had several close calls already with hipster-doofuses surfing them along the paths and sidewalks, weaving in and out of the foot traffic.  Somebody’s going to get hurt.  (Hint: It isn’t going to be me.)

Speaking of segue tours, I fear I accidentally ruined a young lady’s sight-seeing today.  She was part of a flock of them that had cut right across my line of march, forcing me to stop and wait.  As I stood glaring squinting at nothing in particular,  I suddenly realized she had come to a stop, leaving me a gap, a rather sheepish look on her face.  I waved curtly and continued on.

Sorry, Miss.  I didn’t know it was loaded……