Greetings, my fellow port swillers!
Ol’ Robbo was out for his daily lunchtime constitutional in the heart of Your Nation’s Capitol yesterday when he was accosted by a nicely-dressed, rayther pretty young lady with a vaguely Caribbean accent.
“Excuse me,” she said, “Can you please tell me the way to the National Mall?”
“The National Mall?” I asked, somewhat startled.
“Yes,” she said, “The National Mall.”
“Um,” I replied, “Well, this is the National Mall, all up and down along here.” I waived my hand about, indicating the space between the Grant Memorial just behind us and the Washington and Lincoln Memorials off in the distance.
“Oooooh,” she said, a distinct look of bewilderment crossing her face.
“Errr,” I said, trying to be helpful, “Were you looking for a particular building?”
“Oh, no,” she replied, “But I just don’t see any stores around here, that’s all.”
I blinked, aghast at what I’d got myself into. How the hell to let her down gently?
“M’yes,” I said in my most diplomatic voice, “No. It’s all museums and galleries and memorials, I’m afraid. No shopping here.”
“Oooooh,” she said again.
At that point, feeling I had nothing more to offer beyond a wild idea of giving her Metro directions to Tyson’s Corner, I legged it. I mean, honestly, what else do you do?
Ol’ Robbo has been hoofing it about the Mall on a regular basis for something like four or five years now and been approached by visitors with many different questions and/or requests, but I have to say that this one was a first.
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April 25, 2018 at 9:59 am
sleepybeth
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. This is basically how I spend most of my life these days when I poke my head out of the hole I live in.
April 25, 2018 at 11:38 am
rbj1
The museums do have gift shops. But, yeah.
April 25, 2018 at 6:38 pm
Robbo
Garn! I wish I’d have thought to mention the gift shops, but I was so taken aback that it didn’t even occur to me.
April 26, 2018 at 10:12 am
Old Dominion Tory
Tourists. It would be a dull city without them.