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Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

One of the regular morons over at Ace’s place drew Ol’ Robbo’s attention to this story this morning:  Disney World – Pirates of the Caribbean reopens with new auction scene.   Per the story:

The popular Magic Kingdom attraction was closed for several weeks while changes were made.

The classic “bride auction” scene has been removed.

In the new scene, the pirate auctioneer oversees the sale of the townspeople’s goods. And the familiar redhead animatronic is now a pirate named Redd.

Redd—who now totes a rifle—has been given a few lines to say, unlike her predecessor.

“Hey, send them hens to Davy Jones,” she says. “It’s the rum they want. Drink up me hearties. Yo ho!”

(Just for the record, Ol’ Robbo did the Pirates ride once – back in ’05 – and, frankly, doesn’t remember the “classic” bride auction.  But by the time we got on that ride it was the third day of our visit and I was pretty browned off so not paying much attention.)

Another article from the SF Chronicle (which I can’t find at the moment) praises this move because of its “wokeness”.

So, let me see…

It’s “woke” that the auctioned bride has been transmogrified from chattel of the Patriarchy into a Grrrrl-power buccaneer herself.  Because we need to destroy any symbol (however historickally accurate) that is Double-Plus Un Good.

But it’s still totes okay to promote plunder and pillage, guns, alcoholism, and animal cruelty (drowning chickens?) because that’s just silly, pretend, Disney “pirate” stuff.  “Yo ho!”

Do I have that right?

As somebody said, what a stupid, stupid time to be alive.

By the bye, this brought back to mind Disney’s attempt back in the early 90’s to build a park in Northern Virginia that either abutted or actually encroached (I can’t recall which) on the Manassas National Battlefield, an attempt that ultimately failed when the NIMBY crowd got together and pushed back.  Disney had said that it was going to be “historickally-themed”, touching on both the Revolution and the Civil War.  In retrospect, I really think they dodged a bullet on that one.  Can you imagine how much airbrushing and disappearing they’d have to do at such a place these days?





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April 2018