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Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Well, here we are on the first Monday morning of Chuck E. Fargin’ Schumer’s Shutdown Staycation, and since Ol’ Robbo’s O-fficial employment status is “Nearly Invisible”, I find myself sitting around Port Swiller Manor in my jammies and listening to the dog bark at everything that moves.

I actually hope this one doesn’t last very long, simply because I have quite a bit of work to do down the office at the moment and I don’t like to see it stack up.  You would think, what with everyone else out of the house and being freed of endless “meetings” and phone calls, that now would be a perfect time for me to curl up with my laptop and do some serious reading.  I don’t care if I’m on the clock or not, it’s stuff that needs doing.  But nope, nope, nopety-nope, nope, nope.  The Powers That Be are adamant that such things don’t happen.  And I don’t want Bob from NSA tapping into my computer and finding me being naughty.

So here I sit, loafing.

As I say, I hope (and also believe) this will be a short hiatus.  But just in case it turns into a protracted siege, I’ve also come up with a list of things with which to keep myself occupied:

ROBBO’S TOP TEN SCHUMER SHUTDOWN STAYCATION PROJECTS

10.  Learn to juggle.

9.   Build model of Chartres Cathedral from popsicle sticks.

8.   Solve for pi.

7.   Move entire house three feet to left to get better sun on front bushes.

6.   Finally re-read Paradise Lost as I’ve vowed to do ever since college.

5.   400-lap Beltway Rally!

4.   Teach the cats to sing the old “Meow-Mix” theme song.

3.   “Cool-Hand Luke” egg-eating challenge.

2.   Vacuum up all the pet fur.  (Naw, there’s never enough time to do that!)

1. Bathtub full of sangria and a “Gilligan’s Island” marathon!

UPDATE: Well, never mind: Chuckie caved.  I rather thought he would.

By the bye, thank you for bearing with the little assay in humor above.  It’s taken nearly six months, but I really feel like I’m finally coming out from under the cloud that descended on me when I lost the Mothe and am ready to start dealing with the world again (largely by laughing at it, of course).  As you can see, though, I’m pretty badly out of practice.

 

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