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Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Ol’ Robbo was under the impression that a January nor’easter was on its way up the coast, and that after clipping Port Swiller Manor tonight and tomorrow morning, is going to move on and cause the usual mid-winter headaches in New York and New England.

Apparently, thought, this is no ordinary storm, but is instead a dreaded BOMB CYCLONE!!!

(CNN)A massive “bombogenesis” — an area of rapidly declining low pressure — will wreak havoc on the Northeast this week, threatening hurricane-force winter wind gusts in a region already crippled by deadly cold.

The bombogenesis will result in what’s known as a “bomb cyclone.” And the bomb cyclone, expected to strike Thursday, will likely dump 6 to 12 inches of snow in New England.

By the end of this week, parts of the Northeast will be colder than Mars.

Six inches to a foot of snow?  Gusty winds?  And a really scary name to go with it all?  Mother of God, we’re doooooooomed!!!

Even the nice deejay at the local classickal station this evening was gently mocking the, er, bombast of calling the storm a “bomb cyclone”.  And “colder than Mars”? What part of Mars are we talking about? The polar caps? The equator?  Summertime? Winter?

Actually, I think there’s room for expansion of this kind of hyperbole, the better to scare the bejabbers out of us rubes who remained skeptical even during the full brunt of the whole Global Enwarmening scam.  The Weather Channel and its cohorts could make great play with such expressions as “military-style assault hail”, “thunderstorms of mass destruction”, “shock and awe storm surge”, “humanitarian catastrophe heat-index”, and, of course, “Trumpnado!”

Yeesh.

Anyhoo, as for the immediate local impact, I gather that the storm will stay largely east of us and that we’ll get less than an inch of snow tonight and tomorrow morning, which will probably be just enough to make my morning commute tomorrow really rotten.  As Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes) once observed, getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery.  On the other hand, it is going to get fairly cold for the next couple days for these parts, and rumor (or perhaps wish-casting) says the schools will be closed Friday so the liddle widdums don’t get all uncomfortable.

For the Children, how about a little musickal tribute to the next couple days?

 

What Power art thou,
Who from below,
Hast made me rise,
Unwillingly and slow,
From beds of everlasting snow!
See’st thou not how stiff,
And wondrous old,
Far unfit to bear the bitter cold.

I can scarcely move,
Or draw my breath,
I can scarcely move,
Or draw my breath.

Let me, let me,
Let me, let me,
Freeze again…
Let me, let me,
Freeze again to death!

This aria used to creep the hell out of a girlfriend of mine in college (this and the flying monkeys from “The Wizard of Oz”).  Of course, I had another girlfriend in college who used to burst into tears when reading the final scene in King Lear where Lear is standing there with the body of Cordelia in his arms and ruminating on what a pig’s breakfast he’s made of everything.

(Yep – Ol’ Robbo seems to have a talent for attracting crazy people.  And cats.  Dunno why.)

UPDATE:  All is proceeding as I have foreseen.  We got about an inch this morning – dry stuff easily pushed off the driveway.  The roads proved remarkably dry and firm.  (Whatever the stuff the Virginny DOT lays down to prep them is really very, very good.)  Nonetheless, schools were closed today.  And will be so tomorrow because of the low temperatures and high winds expected.  Meanwhile, up the coast it appears that this is turning out to be a typical January nor’easter, yet the MSM is still in full “Omigod, you guyz, BOMB Cyclone!” mode.

 

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