Greetings, my fellow port swillers!
It’s been rayther a long time since ol’ Robbo has reported one of his signature bizzarro dreams here. Well, guess what? That drought is over.
It seems I found myself in a long, long procession or pilgrimage of people, a surprising number of whom I actually know in real life or via the innertoobs. They seemed to be searching for The Way or The Light or some sort of Answer. It became clear to me after a time, however, that there was nothing holy about what I was seeing, and that it was, in fact, some kind of cult of personality presided over by an evil spirit. (The people themselves, however, were not evil, just deluded. Don’t ask me how I knew these things. I just did.)
It seemed that every now and then a dissenter would be singled out in a kind of cat-and-mouse game played by the forces of evil. The dissenter would be put to an impromptu show trial and then carted off to the executioner for torture and/or beheading.
It also seemed that there was some kind of underground movement that sought to save such dissenters. Apparently, it was very good at getting them away from the captors but didn’t really have a clue as to what to do with them afterwards, and the freed dissenters typically were re-caught.
At some point in my dream, the scene shifted from a broad, rolling upland to the interior of an impossibly large railroad car. As I stood in the crowd, I suddenly realized that people were quietly slipping away from my sides and that all at once I was quite alone. I found myself facing a woman lounging on a sofa. I don’t think she was the actual guiding force of the cult, but believed she was one of the senior lieutenants. I don’t remember what she or I said specifically, but the upshot was that I was accused of Crimes Against The Body and sentenced to death.
I then found myself in a field, apparently awaiting execution. There was a group of people near me who seemed to be praying. I asked them if I could borrow a Bible. One of the group immediately handed me what turned out to be a missal instead of a Bible. But he also (accidentally, I think) handed me a wallet, which I immediately turned over the wrong way, spilling out all the contents. I hastily tried to gather up a large number of credit cards, paper receipts and cash, and was much distressed that I couldn’t seem to get them all back into the wallet. I don’t recall how the affair ended.
Next, I found it was Time. A group of people gathered around me and started hustling me off to the place of execution. Some of them were taunting me, but others slipped in close and muttered things like, “We’ll get you out,” “We haven’t got a plan yet, but we’re working on it,” “Just keep your eyes open and watch for opportunities,” and the like. Curiously, I found I had no faith that they could spring me, but also was not greatly distressed about it. My overall feeling was of calm resignation.
I arrived at the execution spot, where I understood I was to have my head chopped off. It was just an open place in the field with a square marked off in yellow paint. Apparently, somebody had forgotten to build a proper platform, so there was going to be another delay while they sorted things out. Meanwhile, a major league umpire was standing nearby, kicking his heals as he waited to officiate. For some reason, St. Thomas More suddenly wandered into my braims, so I sidled up to the ump and said, “I understand this axe-man is a seasoned pro. Well, I’m just rookie meat. So will you please be generous with the strike zone?”
And then, as they say, I woke up.
(The only part of this dream I can explain in absolutely concrete terms is the presence of the fuming ump. The Family Robbo went to see our beloved Nationals play last evening and there was an almost two hour rain delay before the game began. The rest seems to be a bad mash-up of Msrg. Robert Hugh Benson’s The Lord of the World and Terry Gilliam’s “Brazil“.)