Greetings, my fellow port swillers!
It’s Dead, Jim
Ol’ Robbo may be in for a baaaaad day today if his attempt to grind up his coffee beans a while ago is any indication of things to come:
Yes, my at least 17 y.o. Krups simply blew up on me. As you can see (and which I hadn’t noticed), the wires had become frayed where they pass into the base and I guess it was finally just a cut too far. I plugged in, there was a resounding POP!, sparks flew everywhere, and now…..Die Krups ist kaput!
Guess it’s off to the devil’s website to see about getting a replacement. I hope I can refrain from slaughtering my family in the meantime. Twitch! Twitch!
Speaking of coffee, it has long been my policy to refuse to order for Mrs. Robbo when we hit a Starbucks on one of our road trips because she’s the sort who pimps her cup with all those extra frills and special instructions. I do so partly because I think this is heresy, partly because I can never remember all the things she wants, and partly because I feel embarrassed reeling off such a litany to some snot-nosed barista.
Well last evening I mentioned that I was going to stop at Chopt on the way home from work to pick up a salad for dinner and did Mrs. R want anything? “Oh, yes,” she replied, “I’ll text you my order.” A few moments later, ol’ Robbo’s iPhone (yes, I was finally forced to get one) received the single-most complicated salad order I’ve ever seen – a dozen different ingredients (one or two of which I couldn’t even pronounce properly), instructions on how chopped up she wanted it, and three different dressings. I actually had to read it all off my phone to the counter guy after making abundantly clear that this was the missus’ idea and that all I wanted was a plain Caesar myself.
Won’t be doing that again any time soon, I can tell you.
I suppose I had better clean up and nip on over to the local not-Starbucks coffee shop and get an emergency fix before the withdrawal sets in and I begin slitting throats……
UPDATE: Done and done (the new grinder, I mean, not the slaying). I’m going with the fancier-shmantzier “burr” grinder, which I’m told gives a better quality than the old rotor-blade model.
The Port Stands At Your Elbow 
6 comments
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September 10, 2016 at 11:45 am
Victoria
Um…try Wal-Mart for a new grinder.
September 10, 2016 at 5:08 pm
quiltbabe
Yikes. The old one, not the new one. I confess, I’m too lazy to grind my own. I’m also the philistine who buys the pre-ground Dunkin Donuts coffee. It’s smooth and has a fairly low level of acid compared to the fancy-schmantzy stuff.
September 10, 2016 at 6:34 pm
Robbo
Eldest loooves her some DD. She took a Keurig machine to school with her and we loaded up on what must have been a short ton of DD cups.
I use pre-ground for my pot at the office, but the Official Port Swiller Manor Coffee is whole-bean Mayorga Cafe Cubano. It’s teh good – and well worth the risk of electrocution.
Vic, isn’t Wal-Mart having a sale on baskets of deplorables this week? (I denounce myself and await transportation to the camps.)
September 11, 2016 at 7:05 pm
Ian Wang
Or you could save yourself some money and time, and give up coffee altogether…
September 13, 2016 at 12:58 pm
nightfly
You’re lucky. The DD’s round here in Jersey have gone badly astray as regards their coffee. I never thought I’d say it of them, but the stuff is undrinkable.
On the bright side, you’re lucky it was just the coffee grinder. My CAR did that to me a few months ago.
September 13, 2016 at 8:09 pm
Robbo
“Give up coffee altogether” – I do not understand those words in that order.