Greetings, my fellow port swillers!
Ol’ Robbo finds himself overwhelmed by the number of inquiries from friends of the decanter about the status of Daisy, the Port Swiller Manor canem of which all villains should cave.
Whelp, I’ll tell you this: We’ve had the old girl for about three months now. She’s a sweetie. She’s loyal and protective. Ut-bay, e-shay’s ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray, if you get my drift. At least, I think she isn’t.
For one thing, teh dog is obsessed with the Jacobin Groundhog Menace. Said groundhogs had a burrow in front of teh garden gate when Daisy arrived on the scene and we had a bit of a kerfluffle blocking off exit points around the perimeter fence to keep her from chasing them out of the yard. Eventually this was done and I’m sure the groundhogs have long since shifted their base of operations, but Daisy is still convinced they haven’t abandoned their original post. Every time we let her out, she makes a bee-line for the spot, and when she’s out on the porch she spend all her time watching it (which see). Indeed, recently she’s taken to stalking the hole and to spending considerable time parked in front of it…..just in case.
Another thing is her attitude to doors. If a door (specifically, the one out on to the porch) is open by so much as a crack, teh kittehs will pull or push on it in order to get through. Indeed, if it’s closed, they’ll hurl themselves against it until somebody comes along to let them through. Not so, Daisy. Unless the door is open sufficiently wide to let her pass through completely unhindered, she’ll sit and stare at it in consternation.
Daft, daft animal.
The other thing is her evident fondness for a tennis ball with a squeaker in it (again, which see). We’ve taken to calling said ball her “binky” and she hates, hates to be parted from it.
As I say, I think she’s not that bright, but I’m not completely convinced. When confronted with Alpha-male authori-tah, teh dog has a passive-passive-aggressive approach that would cause Alexander to start pulling his hair out in frustration. Trying to discipline her is equivalent to trying to discipline Jello, and about as effective. This may just be what it is, but part of me can’t help thinking it’s by design.
Were Daisy a cat, I’d have no doubt whatsoever that I was being pawned. It’s only the fact that she’s a dog which gives me doubt.
Anyhoo, that’s where we are.