Ol’ Robbo is enjoying the game this evening between his beloved Nationals and the Feesh of Miami. I don’t want to comment on the game itself while it’s still in progress. Rayther, I have two more general things on what passes for my mind re the glorious Game of Baseball.
First, Memo to Major League Baseball re this year’s innovation of challenged calls and instant replay: Kill it. Kill it dead. Kill it completely dead. Now. Beat it about the head with a tire-iron. Drown it. Drive a stake through its heart. Put several bullets into its brainpan. Toss it into an industrial turbine. Let the dingo eat it. Draw and quarter it. Chop it up into very small bits and jump up and down on them with hobnailed boots. Burn the bits, toss the ashes into acid and then scatter what’s left to the four corners of the Earth. Do you see where I’m going with this? Stopping play for review goes against every single particle of Baseball’s DNA. It’s wrong. It’s baaaaaad. It’s eviiiil.
Second, my children have noted that my habit of yelling “SQUIRREL!” at the teevee just before a pop fly lands in an opposing player’s glove has yet to save a Nats batter over all these years. I simply reply that teh Baseball Gods reward loyalty and consistency and that somehow, some day, my efforts will be answered. Oh, yes. Yes, they will.
This latter observation reminds me of an incident a couple years ago where my eldest, then in parochial middle school, tried to get me in trouble. “Hey, Father S,” she said, “My dad believes in Baseball Gods! What do you think of that?”
“Well, of course there are Baseball Gods,” replied the good Father, a well-known Sawx fan.
Update: Naw, I appreciate the pro-review comments but my objection stands, especially after having sat through another round of it last evening. Having Big Brother looking over your shoulder changes the whole dynamic of the game, making it more litigious and less personal, and also disrupting the traditional flow of things. No, thankee.