Greetings, my fellow port swillers!
Those of you keeping track of Robbo’s latest home improvement project will be interested to know that I spent the better part of the day today cutting, fitting and screwing in lattice panels. A glass of wine with those of you who gave advice – I used two inch wood screws spaced about a foot or so apart and pre-drilled the lattice. The end result looks and feels quite solid, even with the strong winds we had today. I’m not actually done yet, as the charge in my drill ran down and I had to come to a stopping point in time to get to the store for dins food, but I’m a good two-thirds/three-quarters of the way through, and as far as the construction goes I feel I could plant my jasmine tomorrow if I really wanted to. (I can’t, as a matter of fact, because as soon as I’m done with noon Mass I have to take teh youngest gel off to a make-up softball game. I’m also not yet convinced we’re completely out of the frost zone. But never mind.)
I should note that I was aided and abetted by teh Middle Gel, whose primary task was to “hold things”. This is an old joke in my family. When my brother and I were lads, the Old Gentleman used to put us to work in the yard practically every weekend. Somehow the meme developed that he only really wanted the company and that our tasks actually consisted of nothing more than “holding things”. The phrase eventually entered the family lexicon.
As a matter of fact, he worked us like serfs: clearing rocks; digging flower beds; filling flower beds; hauling brush, firewood, stones and railroad ties; laying sod; weeding; mowing; planting; watering – you name it. We hated every minute of it, in part because the work was often back-breaking, the weather beastly hot and the menace perpetual that the next thing we picked up would have either a snake or a scorpion lurking under it, but mostly because we felt it monstrously unfair that Sistah somehow always got away with not having to contribute to the cause. (She was nominally supposed to help teh Mothe with indoor tasks, but we knew perfectly well that she in fact spent most of the time skulking in her room listening to Adam Ant records – and let her try denying it.)
Anyhoo, teh Gel was, in fact, immensely useful in her task of, er, holding things – the panels, to be specific. It is physically impossible to brace a 4×8 panel up against beams and at the same time screw it in, so I literally could not have done the job without her. My plan, in all fairness, is to draft teh Youngest Gel to help me with the rest.
There were no real mishaps today, either in terms of mistakes or accidents. The closest I came was when I nicked the end of my thumb with my handsaw. Anyone who has ever met teh Gel will readily assert that she is one of the sweetest and most sympathetic of souls. What those who don’t live with her everyday may miss is that she can be startlingly phlegmatic and deadpan at times. So when she noticed that I had cut myself, she simply said, “I see you’re getting blood all over everything.”
What could I do but reply equally coolly, “Yeah, I know.”
Anyhoo, a good day. I’ve been feeling a bit in the dumps the last few weeks and this was just the tonic – fresh air and exercise and a plan working out- that I think I needed. Now if you will excuse me, I’m off to grill a large steak on the bar-b and to get ready for an evening of watching my beloved Nats (hopefully) taking their first win off the Braves.