Greetings, my fellow port swillers!
In the next day or two, ol’ Robbo faces ye annual doome that is ycomme true known as teh Office “Holiday” Party.
Back when I was in private practice, these functions were, if not innocuous, at least fairly manageable. One simply avoided saying anything obviously obnoxious to one of the partners, as well as having anything to do with the drunk paralegal looking for a fellah to take her home. Aside from that, the spread usually was pretty lavish and a good time was had by all.
Well, I’ve spent nearly a decade now working for Uncle and I’m here to tell you that the atmosphere at his parties is completely different. The best way I can describe it is to suggest the resemblance to being asked to tango across a minefield.
In my earlier years, I used to go to these parties and put on my best face. Recently though, perhaps because I’m older and don’t give much of a damme anymore, perhaps because teh climate has become more, well, mine-strewn, I’ve taken to simply ducking them. When asked if I plan to attend, I usually respond, “Oh, I hope so, but I’m waiting on this call from Mr. Art Vandelay that I simply must take. See you there, hopefully!”
Getting close to 50 has its advantages. As does the reputation for being that guy who’s quiet….keeps to himself…..
5 comments
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December 18, 2013 at 4:56 am
Vicki
No doubt that scowl keeps them a few paces away as well.
December 18, 2013 at 4:56 am
Vicki
Oh wait…that was “squinting.” My bad.
December 18, 2013 at 6:15 am
Diane Werle (@quiltbabe)
Heh. I deliberately scheduled a doctor’s appointment for half an hour before ours starts today. We’re in the middle of budget cuts, and since Finance “has to set an example”, I am astonished we are having one at all. In normal years the nosh is pretty plain and paltry, so this year will probably be crackers and water. Sometimes the entertainment is pretty good (singers from campus groups, a murder mystery last year, our VP dressed as Santa), but all in all, I’m happy to miss.
December 18, 2013 at 9:57 am
rbj1
Fortunately for me, as the family lives a few states away, I am usually on the road on that day. Which is about the only good thing I can say about the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
December 19, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Robbo
My favorite excuse is, “Oh, there’s a stomach bug going around my family and I wouldn’t want to pass it on to anyone here at work!” Magic.