Nats HatGreetings, my fellow port swillers!

A bit of cross-talk from one of ol’ Robbo’s favorite movies:

Hysterium:  Ruh! Buh!  Whu!……

Pseudolus:  Calm…

Hysterium: Er! Buh! Whu!…

Pseudolus: Caaaalm….

Hysterium: Ooh! Buh! Whu!…

Pseudolus: Calm yourself! I’ll tell you when it’s time to panic!

Miles Gloriosus: I smell mischief here!

Pseudolus: [beat] It’s time.

Okay, it isn’t really.  I hope.  But after Robbo’s beloved Nats dropped their series opener against St. Lewee this evening by a score of 3-2, a game they really could have should have won, thereby falling to a record of 10-9, well…..I confess I’m getting nervous.

I freely admit that I half fell into that breezy, delirious fandom trap wherein I dreamed the Nats would  go 162-0 on the year.  Okay, you folks know from past years that I’m no summah soldier, no sunshine patriot.  Nor am I a baseball idjit.  I know cruising to a repeat NL East championship is unrealistic.  I know that it’s a different dynamic with everyone’s gunning for us this year.  I know the season is young, that it’s only mid/late April.

But still……

This is the first year ol’ Robbo has really had to deal with Expectations.  So you’ll forgive his heartburn, warranted or no.  Having said that, allow me to blather:

The only starters that are producing are JZimm and National Det.  Haren is looking more like an expensive lemon at every outing, and both Stras and Nat-Geo are floundering.  The bullpen is starting to pick up, true, but what difference does that make if your starter blows it and you have positively no offense?  The team seems to be possessed by a kind of malaise that I don’t understand.  Good God Almighty, people!  What the hell do you suppose you’re doing out there? Lollygagging?

Let’s just hope that skipper Davy Johnson, even as I post, is working his Big Magic to wake these guys up.  Mr. Rogers-like happy talk or branding irons and the cat-o-nine-tails, I really don’t care which, so long as it works.

It was bad enough to be a laughing stock when we truly were a bad team and nobody expected anything else.  After all the preseason hype, I don’t know how I will handle it if we become a laughing stock despite the fact that we’re a good team.

What a game.  What a freakin’ game.

What else is there to do except say:


UPDATE:  Second verse? Same as the first!  Guys? That piece of wood in your hands? It’s called a “bat”.  You use it to hit the ball.  Try it some time.  Just saying.