nutsGreetings, my fellow port swillers and happy sixth day of Christmas!

Upon review and consideration, ol’ Robbo has come to the conclusion that when he becomes Emperor of the World, he’s going to go ahead and ban holiday nutcrackers.  He doesn’t like them.  They don’t have anything directly to do with Christmas.  And, of course, their design is open to all manner of abuse.

Further, the one that perennially haunts the library at Port Swiller Manor despite my best efforts to get rid of it has been giving me some pretty sinister looks of late.  I can smell mutiny in the ranks a mile off, and the best defense is a good offense.

Please adjust your decorating schedules accordingly.

Thank you.