Dear Local Classickal Station,

I had the sense when you started spinning “holiday musick” CD’s immediately after Thanksgiving (with a whole week of November left to go) that this was going to be a bad, bad year.  I had no idea, however, that by December 11 – still two weeks out – 75% of your playlist would be devoted to such tunes.   I can only assume, although it’s not yet posted, that your list will reach full holiday saturation point very, very soon.  I also know very well from past experience that by dawn on December 26, there will barely be a trace of Christmas left in your programming.

Why would you do this?  Why would you pound your listeners’ ears so relentlessly with Christmas musick so far in advance, only to stop cold on the second day of Christmas itself?  A motive occurred to me just yesterday, when one of your deejays said after a selection, “You know, this recording and the other holiday favorites you hear are available for purchase on our website…..”


Of course, I may be being entirely too cynical or even paranoid.   It’s just that this year the forces of crass commercialization and unbridled consumerism seem to be poisoning the holiday spirit more than ever before, and I’m afraid it has influenced my attitude toward these things.

However, whatever the case may be,  the fact of the matter is that if I have to listen to Jessye Norman singing “Ave, Maria” or a “White Christmas” medley or “If Bach Had Written ‘Jingle Bells'” one more time, I’m likely to go Scrooge and start saying it with an axe.  For my own sanity and the safety of my radio, therefore, I consider it best just to flip over to the CD function and listen to my own musickal collection instead.

I’ll see you on the other side.

— Robbo the Port Swiller