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Teddy makes the WSJ. But was it worth it?

Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

A very satisfactory Columbus Day morning was had by ol’ Robbo as he made his way around the grounds of Port Swiller Manor getting in a good fall cleaning.  When I tell you that I even got to pruning the hollies that flank the end of the driveway, well, that might not mean much to you out of context but buh-lieve me, it represents serious progress on my honey-do list.

And as I hauled fallen branches and cut the grass, what passes for my mind kept playing on the question that has been bothering me ever since Teddy won his first Presidents’ Race at Nats Park last week:  Now what?

What’s that old Latin tag? “Post coitum omne animal triste est.”  Well, it’s remarkable how quickly that feeling set in amongst all of the Nats fans I’ve talked to over the past few days.  Despite how enthusiastically all of us have rooted for him over the years, despite how giddy all of us (including Self) were at the moment of victory,  now that Teddy has lost his virginity (so to speak), I think it’s fair to say that most of us kinda  sorta definitely wish he could somehow get it back.

And that’s the big problem, one that I have touched on more than once over the years.  Teddy’s Losing Streak is a one-off joke, something akin to Charlie Brown’s never kicking the football or getting the little redheaded girl.  Our enjoyment is in the anticipation, the hope that just maybe this time he might be going to do it, and in the agony after the forces of destiny deny him yet again.  We yell, “Let Teddy Win!” but we don’t, in fact, really mean it.

Also, there was a lot of build up over the week or two leading to Teddy’s victory.  There were Teddy giveaways at the Park.  Both Sen. McCain and the President got into the act in calling for his win in a video expose that appeared in ESPN.  (Oh, and as an aside, here’s a message for the Very Important People who jump on the bandwagon at the last minute: Bugger off.  This is a Nats/fans affair.)  All that hoopla for a one-off event that forever alters the whole raison d’etre of the movement?  Cripes, I hope not.  That’s Nat’nals thinking.

Anyhoo, it all appears to be over.

So what happens next?  I’ve got to believe that whoever, ah, manages these matters has been noodling that one for a long time and has a plan.  Late last week, LTWHQ was reporting a rumor that Teddy was going to be retired and replaced by JFK.  (Teddy himself has since denied that he will ever retire.)  Personally, I think this is a horrid idea, although I must confess that I had a vision of a JFK bobblehead being repeatedly knocked down by a drunken Marilyn Monroe look-alike.  That idea caused me to hoot in amusement, but somehow I don’t think it would fit in with the overall tone.

Here’s an idea that occurred to me:  If you go back and look at the video (1st linkee above, and be sure to check out Bob and F.P.’s hylarious commentary), you will recall that Teddy only got his win because an obviously fake “Philly Phanatic” jumped out on the field and knocked down the opposition.  This enraged a number of fans commenting over at the WaPo sports blog at the time and my immediate reaction was, “Phanatic-Gate!”  You couldn’t nullify the win just because of the interference itself.  (The Lord knows how many times Teddy has been taken out over the years by That Cat and other ambushing villains.)  But perhaps there’s something in the fact that the “Phanatic” was so obviously a fake (heck, his nose fell off) that could be parlayed into a win-stripping scandal.

It’s just a thought.


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October 2012