Greetings, my fellow port-swillers!
Last evening, the middle gel sidled up to me wearing an expression I’ve long learned to suspect and said in a voice of which I’ve long learned to beware, “Dad? You know what we’d like to get for Christmas? Nintendo 3DS’s!”
“What the heck is that?” I asked.
She explained that it is apparently the latest video game thingamabobber, with lots of new whistles and bells. Everybody’s getting them.
“Well,” I said, “I can tell you right now that the answer is no.”
“What!” she exclaimed. “Why nooooot?”
“Because,” I replied firmly, “You’ve already got teevee and DVDs and Wii and your iWhatevers and you’re near enough to beholden zombies to the things as it is. You don’t need another gadget.”
“But…..But…..But….”
Regular port swillers who are fond of the Brendan Fraser Mummy movie may recall the scene where the High Priest Imhotep summons a zombie mob to get Fraser and his friends. It has become something of a tradition in the port-swiller household to allude to this scene any time the subject of mindless enslavement to technology (one of ol’ Robbo’s stock rants) comes up. Therefore, I bugged my eyes, cocked my head to the side, extended my arms and began to mutter, “Iiiimhotep….Iiiiiiiimhotep……IIIIIIIImhotep…….”
The gel, much to her credit, laughed.
“Okay, then,” she said, “Can I get some kittens?”
Grrrr.
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October 28, 2011 at 3:08 pm
JB in Florida
She’s goooooood!!! Had the kittens lined up, did she? My guess is that she makes the first option look soooo much better. You are blessed to have children who can make you smile even when you’re “grrrr-ing”.
October 28, 2011 at 3:17 pm
rbj
Somewhat OT, it appears that Miss Lohan has disrobed for the bunny magazine. Thus fulfilling the last criterion of the Llama’s formula. What a great role model for the gels — of what not to do.
Cats are fine, just make sure you go to a rescue shelter and get a couple of friends. Gels get kittehs, plus you teach them charity.
October 28, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Robbo
I was surprised by the kitteh request because she already knows my policy on that: We have two cats, one fairly elderly (about 18), the other fairly young (about 4). I have made plain that when the elder shuffles off this mortal coil, then we could see about a couple kittens.
I explained all this again, and she said, “But I could keep the kittens in my room! And their food, and their beds and their litter……”
To which I replied, “Four cats. Not. Gonna. Happen. Now, go to bed.”
October 28, 2011 at 3:50 pm
nightfly
You have to admit, though, that her cat request was especially apt in light of the Imhotep reference. That’s gotta count for something.
October 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Robbo
True. Don’t know if that was prearranged, though – she’s been on the new kitteh thing for a while now. I chide her about being so eager to give our current old lady the ice flow treatment.