The local classickal station rebroadcast the recent National Symphony Orchestra season opener this morning.  One of the featured works on the programme was Ravel’s “Bolero.”  According to the commentator, the audience leaped to their collective hind legs at the end of the piece.

My fellow port-swillers, don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise: The “Bolero” is musickal hokum, the musickal equivalent of repeating, “Neener, Neener, Neeeee-ner” for ten minutes or so, a calculated piece of impudence without any actual artistic merit that served no other purpose than to jerk the collective chains of Ravel’s own audiences.  In this day and age, when anything goes, it doesn’t even do that.

When I become Emperor of the World, I shall take steps about this.