Greetings, my fellow port swillers!

Ol’ Robbo has watched an awful lot of Nats baseball on teevee this year.  (And although this post isn’t about the Nats themselves, I must confess that the picture of Phillies fans leaving Citizen’s Bank Park early in disgust last night  as their team dropped their third straight at home to my beloved Nats was a thing of beauty.  Fun trivia: Two years ago, the Nats had a season record of 3-15 against the Phils.  Last year, it was 6-12.  This year?  With one to go, we’re 9-8.  Sweeeet.)

But where was I? Oh, yes – the teevee.

As is inevitable with watching a lot of ball games, I have also seen a lot of commercials.  Over and over and over again.  And two of them in particular have really begun to irritate me.  Allow me to share my gripes.  (See, children?   This is why daddy blogs.)

The first is a commercial for the latest BMW.  It features a studly guy driving a long stretch of desert road.  The point of the ad is to tout the Beemer’s gas mileage, the tag line being, “You’ll need to refuel before it does.”  So, as the guy is motoring along, a military tanker plane flies up behind him.  As it gets overhead, it lowers its refueling line, only the line is carrying coffee, not gas.  So the guy opens up his sunroof and holds up his coffee cup, getting it topped off from the jet.  Get it?  Ha. Ha.

So what bothers me about this?  The fact that if a jet like that actually slowed down enough to match speeds with the car, it would immediately stall out and pancake on top of the guy.   For some reason, the impossibility of the scenario really gets under my skin.

The other commercial, or set of commercials, that I dislike are for an office supply company called W.B. Mason.   The theme here is that it’s a “crime” to use low-quality office supplies, so the things feature black and white film noir crime-scene sets and principal actors walking about as detectives in trench coats and mustaches.  There’s even one where the same mustachioed detectives are baseball announcers, instead.  Don’t ask.  The overall effect is immensely stupid and, at times,  borderline incomprehensible, and if I were the W.B. Mason exec in charge of the advertising budget, I’d sack whatever agency they’re using instanter and try some other approach.