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Huck Finn gets rebooted:

Saying they want to publish a version that won’t be banned from some schools because of its language, two scholars are editing Mark Twain’s classic Adventures of Huckleberry Finn to eliminate uses of the “N” word and replace it with “slave,” Publishers Weekly writes.

The edition, from NewSouth Books, will also shorten an offensive reference to Native Americans.

Other new editions planned for the series include a Moby Dick in which Ahab hunts the whale with a camera, not a harpoon;  A Scarlet Letter in which Hester Prynne sports a N.O.W. badge and gets a safe, convenient abortion; and  the letters of St. Paul in which words like “fornication” are replaced with “failure to separate papers and plastics”.

Greetings, my fellow port-swillers! Now that your households are bubbling over with drummers, pipers, lords, ladies, maids, rings and a wide assortment of fowl, you are all set to close the Christmas Feast with a bang and a hollah.

So start baking those king cakes, put on your yellow stockings and crossed garters, and have a great time!

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