Greetings, fellow port-swillers!

My apologies for not posting all week, but Ol’ Robbo has been up to his eyebrows in teh busyness, both at home and in the office.  Bees, as they say, ain’t in it.

Last evening, however, I finally got the chance to put up my feet and unwind for a while.  And by some serendipitous trick of fate, I just so happened to have on hand from Netflix a copy of Rescue From Gilligan’s Island, the 1978 reunion movie in which Gilligan and his friends finally make it back to Civilization after 15 years, only to discover that they don’t really like it very much.

No doubt you are saying to your collective selves, “Tom! Why?”  Well, the fact is that what with one thing and another in the headlines lately, I had been thinking about the Carter Era in all its awfulness and suddenly remembered this flick.  I actually saw it when it first aired, but as I was only 13 at the time it didn’t make that much of an impression.  I was curious, now that I’m older, to go back and see just how many jabs the flick took at the Modern World of the late 70’s.

Well, alas, the answer is “Not many.”   Ginger (played here by substitute Judith Baldwin, no doubt because Tina Louise didn’t want to damage her career) discovers that Hollywood is all about foul language and nudity – rayther touchingly naive considering where we are now.  The Professor discovers that academics are all about fundraising instead of scholarship.  Heigh, ho.  Oh, and Gilligan is chased around by a pair of bumbling Soviet agents trying to steal a piece of a crashed spy satellite that he had found on the Island.  Considering that we were losing teh Cold War at that point, this looked particularly lame.  All the other “problems” encountered by the rest of the crew are purely personal.

I know this is Gilligan and I know that it never aimed very high to begin with, but given the enormous societal changes between 1963 and 1978, and also given the malaise of the time, it seems to me that something less lame than this could have been produced, had anyone spent more than 15 minutes or so writing the script.

So I got an idea.

How about a Children of Gilligan’s Island sequel?  Many of the original cast are dead and the rest are too old now, but how about this plot device:  Once the crew return to the Island (as they do at the end of Rescue), they decide to abandon any idea of ever getting off again.  In the ensuing years, Gilligan, the Professor and the Skipper all father children on Mary Ann and Ginger.  This rayther complicated brood of six half-siblings are raised with the values of their elders, including the Howells.   Comes the present day and the original settlers are all gone, but by some trick of fate the kids are picked up by the Navy and brought back to the States, where their mid-60’s values come into direct conflict with the Times.  The changes between 1963 and 1978 were vast, but the changes between 1963 and 2010 are exponentially huge.

It would be something like a cross between Rip Van Winkle and Blue Lagoon.   I’ve an idea Johnny Depp could play the younger version of Gilligan.