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Well, I found out yesterday that I will not, in fact, be managing a softball team this spring.  Through a combination of mis-communication and (to be honest) some dithering on my part over what level the eldest gel would play, the league understood that this season I didn’t want the job and gave it to somebody else.

Instead, I will be serving on the coaching staff of both the eldest gel (who will be playing AAA again) and the youngest gel (who is just starting out and will be in transition ball).

The news came as a bit of a shock to me, as over the past week or two I had begun to get excited about the prospect of managing again, even going so far as to begin thinking about my introductory speech.  And as it sinks in, I find myself a bit torn.

On the one hand, I suppose I’m a bit relieved at the thought that I’m not going to be stuck with all the administrative burdens – keeping track of the equipment, setting line-ups and fielding assignments, planning practices, etc.  Also, it will no longer be incumbent on me to be the first one at the field and the last to go.

On the other hand, well…..I like managing.  There’s something immensely gratifying about building up the bond with a team, to have them look to you for leadership and guidance.   Helping out as a coach is all well and good, but I can’t help feeling that at the same time it’s one step removed from that special relationship.

Oh, well.  I suppose the only thing to do is to be an especially active coach, not just one of those dads who wanders in and out of the dugout.   Most managers appreciate the help, so that shouldn’t be a problem.   And Lord knows that between the two schedules I’ll see plenty of time at the field.   Plus, working under somebody else will provide good experience for when I get back to the managerial level myself.

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