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Packet ‘United States’ by Robert Salmon, 1817

Well, as noted below, I’m away. See you later this week.

Because it’s John Cleese’s birthday in the next day or so and because it happens to be one of my very favorite Python sketches, I give you “The Fish License”:

I do believe that if I actually were to sit down and do the math, this sketch would probably be the first among the entire Python canon in terms of density of quotes that have made it into the Robbo Family Lexicon.

How could someone possibly resist such a headline with this story?

[A] 26-year-old passenger’s arm became trapped up to the shoulder by the powerful suction flushing system on board the packed high-speed TGV train from Paris to La Rochelle.

Firefighters took more than an hour to free the man, before lifting him from the train on a stretcher with the entire toilet still stuck to his arm.

A fire spokesman said: “He was cut free from the toilet on the platform and apart from suffering bruising and smelling a bit, he suffered no other injuries.”

A spokesman for French rail operator SNCF added: “The train was two hours late at its destination on Sunday afternoon due to an unlikely accident, and we apologise to passengers for the unavoidable delay.”

Le heh.

And note how I am restraining mightily from making anything of the “smelling a bit” line.  Mightily, I tell you!

British film makers are hoping to recreate the magic of the Lord of the Rings trilogy in a low budget movie inspired by JRR Tolkien’s books.

Born of Hope is a prequel to the fantasy novels and tells the story of the Dúnedain, the Rangers of the North, before the return of the King.

The 60-minute film, which will be released on the internet next year, focuses on Arathorn and Gilraen, the parents of Aragorn, from their first meeting through a turbulent time in their people’s history.

Filming has already begun in Epping Forest in Essex, with the latest footage showing actors trudging through the woods dressed as sword-wielding Orcs.

Kate Robinson, who is directing the film, said: “Born of Hope is a prequel to the New Line Trilogy and my aim is to make a film that can sit alongside those films without looking too out of place.

“We want to show people more of a back-story for Aragorn. Based on Tolkien’s writings in the Appendices of the books we look at Aragorn’s people and show the relationship between his parents.”

Weeeeeeell……Good luck with that, mates, but I shudder with apprehension about what “the relationship between his parents” probably entails:  Arathorn II is a boozy, defeated cynic.  Gilraen, his wife, the “Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman” of Eriador, is the real inspiration of the remnant of Numenor.  It is with her wisdom and spirit that the boy is endowed, giving him the inner strength – and sensitivity! – to woo the beautiful Elvin maiden, overcome the prejudices of his enemies and eventually assume the Crown.

Oh, and for those not interested in that story line, there are a lot of people dressed up like orcs and running about the place, drooling, torching and slaying.

I jest, but on the other hand I would lay money that Born of Hope (I assume this to be a nod to Aragorn’s childhood cover name of “Estel” -which means “Hope”), probably won’t be very far away from this.

On the other hand, no Peter Jackson!

I will be heading out on my travels again tomorrow and away from the ol’ blog for the rest of the week.

Of course, I can’t publicly disclose exactly where I’m going, but I can tell you that this time around it is a place that might be described as very, very Midwestern.

As I’ve been organizing my schedule with the local folks, I have been continually amazed at the barrier thrown up simply by the local pronunciations of place-names.  I used to think that the citizens of Buena Vista, Virginia held the blue ribbon on that count by their insistence in pronouncing it “Bee-yunah Vista”, but these good folks have, I think, got them beat.

Some of you no doubt recognize it even before I give the link, but this is a photo of the Martyrs’ Shrine in Midland, Ontario, dedicated to the memory of the eight Jesuits – Jean de Brébeuf, Gabriel Lalemant, Antoine Daniel, Charles Garnier, Noël Chabanel, Isaac Jogues, René Goupil and Jean de Lalande – who first came to the shores of Canada in the mid-17th Century with the intent of converting the Huron Nation to Christianity.  All of them endured incredible hardships.  Most of them also endured unbelievably horrific tortures at the hands of their flock’s enemies.  All of them also met gruesome deaths in and around lonely outposts scattered about the eastern Great Lakes and the St. Lawrence River, as their mission was reduced – literally – to blood-soaked ashes.  And all of them faced these trials with almost inconceivable bravery, dignity and grace.

I mention this because, after reading about 350 pages of Francis Parkman over the weekend, I dreamed all last night of missionaries, Hurons and endless pursuit by marauding  Iroquois.  Whoa.

By the way, I would point out that Parkman, while making abundantly clear his own “heretical” status and his opinions of the faults of the Church, nonetheless has nothing but genuine praise and admiration for these extraordinary men.

For some reason, I am having a good bit of trouble with WordPress today.  Posting may be very sporatic until things sort themselves out.

Thank you for your patience.

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