edward-cullen Much to Mrs. R’s intense annoyance, I have managed to transmogrify Edward Cullen of the Vampire book series into a favorite new dinner-time character, known to me as “Edward the Metro-Sexual Vampire” and to the gels as “Edward the Veggie-Vampire”.

Among us, we have started a narrative to reflect Edward’s hip, enlightened, 21st Century brand of caring vampirism.  To date, we have come up with the following personality points:

1.  He drives a Volvo with a “Have You Hugged Your Bat Today?” bumper-sticker.

2.   He is repulsed by garlic, wooden stakes and people who don’t separate out their plastics and glass.

3.  He gives money to Greenpeace.

4.  He refuses to bite any victim that isn’t certified free-range, organically grown and hormone-free.

5.  His coffin latte-machine is geothermal-powered.

The tale, as Prof. Tolkien might have said, keeps growing in the telling.  The gels think this is all wildly hilarious.   I find it quite amusing, too.